Dear Austin - Today has been a rough day for Daddy. I went back to work for the first time since 2 days before you died. It was so hard returning to everything the way I left it when I came home to be with you that Monday. It took me right back to how I was feeling when I left work. When I left to come home, I knew you were not going to be with us much longer. I thought I was prepared for this because I knew it was coming, but I have never been so wrong in my life. Losi

Baby Boy - Today was the first day we took the girls out to visit your "memory box." We have told them that we buried a box full of memories, including the pictures they drew for you, your blanket from Aunt Katie and pins from your family. Lexi keeps pointing at the flowers on your grave saying "baby." I think she understands more than we give her credit for. She gets such a sad face when she says your name. She misses her brother. Avery on the other hand was very co

Baby - Went out to visit you again today. Uncle Bob and Aunt Jenni were out visiting you too. Uncle Bob was hanging a baby shoe Aunt Jenni bought you in the tree next to you. I can see the hurt in them - they miss you too. The sky is clear today and the breeze is wonderful. I prayed to God again to give my baby boy a hug and to tell you I miss and love you. I wonder if you know how much I love and miss you. I wonder if you know when I am there visiting. I keep look

My dearest Austin – I miss you. As I held you when you took your last breathe……my heart broke and will never be the same. Watching you pass was the hardest day of my life. I held on tight to the body you left behind and never wanted to let go. I am sorry I couldn’t save you. I am sorry you didn’t have a healthy body. I feel like I failed you as a Mother. I would have given anything for you. I would have given anything to switch places with you son. I am so sorry I cou